I've had some setbacks here.. The other day, I was playing soccer on the beach barefoot and I twisted my bad ankle (the one I had surgery on in March) and it has been bothering me ever since. I have also had bad stomachaches every morning for the past 5 days in a row. I have been feeling this uneasiness that I can't explain. I know God has sent me here and that He made it so clear to me to come here, but after three short weeks, I am going back to Texas.
I love the things I am getting to do here and I love the heart that Shores has for the lost, broken, and homeless. I have loved getting to have church on the street and worship with the poorest of the poor, talk to and hug confused prostitutes on the streets of Recife, and build relationships with these beautiful people and speak truth into their lives. But I feel like The Lord is strongly telling me that I'm just not ready spiritually for what I'm doing. It is very spiritually heavy and exhausting and the enemy has been attacking me lately. I know my God is stronger and bigger, but I feel like He's gently telling me that I'm not ready for what I'm doing here and I can't put all I have into it because of my lack of experience and knowledge with this type of sensitive ministry.
I don't know why He sent me here for such a short time, but I know that as I look back on what I did and what all happened here, God has taught me so much. I don't know why He does what he does sometimes, but I trust him. If He wanted me here for three weeks then I guess that's o.k. I am confused and a little disappointed, but I will obey. I am willing to stay and even live here but that's not what God is calling me to do at this time. I know He wants to do something in my life back home and I'm anxious to see what it is. I will always remember this time and what God showed me through these amazing people and ministry. I know that wherever I go or whatever I do, He will be with me and He's not going anywhere because He has promised that He won't leave or forsake me ever.
I'm eternally grateful for the prayers, financial support, and thoughts everyone has sent my way and I know that God was looking out for me while I was here. I have such amazing family and friends that have supported me the whole way (even when a lot of them didn't want me to leave). I am sorry if I've disappointed any of you and I hope to do missions later if God calls me again to Brazil, Africa, or wherever He leads. Thank you all and God bless.
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